Okay, okay I'd thought I will have gone by now to some exotica staying true to my shiny loose canon reputation, but no, I'm afraid I will be sticking around like a tinnitus in your head for a bit longer. For the love of creatures, straight and bent, beautiful and fugly! Why do I always get fooled into believing that everyone is from the tellytubby world spreading nothing but kindness,goodwill and vapid, one syllable words to the world?! Goodwill my water retentive arse, you pathological liar. I am now getting all my eggs from your basket before they all get hatched into slithery, squishy and venomous whatevs, and be the rightful King of the house instead.My mom, apparently bored with my whining, catatonia and unspeakable habit of filling the house with Twilight zone'esque screams decided she'd had enough and booked a ticket to the U.S. in the earliest possible schedule, probably to find her peace and quiet.
Because its a standing and popular belief that a mere mention of my name will turn water into blood and bring forth pestilence, locusts and occasional incurable boils.
I, being notoriously known to survive on pita bread and balsamic vinegar, welcomed the idea the way you'd welcome Jehova's witnesses on your doorstep. "But what about the house?! your plants?! the grass?! etc". The only thing I am capable of looking after is a swollen sebacious gland. The task at hand is too nigh. Can this all be done by the two ''it'' girls? I dont know, when a matter is just way above my head, I sit still until it goes away.
Let me just tell you about the "It" girls.
