I Told You I Am Not Of This World

When things get out of hand and I feel that all too familiar homicidal tendency eating at me and egging me on to either get into a spontaneous combustion or lurk in the dark alley and pounce on an unwitting human while screaming like a banshee with a stubbed toe, I get "otherworldly" quirky (If that's not making you wet your pants yet or your dentures scurry away like a headless chicken, you need to up your medication)

The things I do to avoid more body counts are as follow:

1. I go and bite into my comfort grub- Jollibee cheeseburger, not that humongous Champ that can dislocate your jaw and renders you the look of someone giving breech birth to an 18-pound baby, but that plain yum with cheese. It eases me off really, its my narcotic- alters my mood. My soothing, numbing agent. Its as if I scale back to the point in my life when troubles melted like lemon drops, when the thing I only worried about was when asked by my dad to sing and I couldnt sing with 'tremolo' at every ending of the word (give me one-an-an-an-an, moment in time-an-an-an-an, when im more than-an-an-an, I thought I could be-eeh-eeh-ehh! -Geez! Why Couldnt I just belt out twinkle twinkle little star!). My dad found it cutesy and prodigous, my brother thought I was having a root canal without anaesthesia,neighbors within earshot predicted as if with divine certainty that I would end up embroidering my handkerchiefs with my initials and sending out heavily scented bookmarks and my mom worried that I'd end up taking the place of my "chang Remy"- the village's undisputed queen of songs whose performances graced every dead's wake,that would be later on superseded by videokes that turn your brain into pulpy mush- a very cheap way to romance the soul of the departed. I am telling my family and friends that when its my time to go, never, ever bring that clutter of crap in my wake or else I'll haunt them mercilessly, I can make a good poltergeist.
Going back,I must eat my yummy yum burger alone, I dont want another freak worrying over my sanity, because.. look, I have a confession to make, I involuntarily smile when downing my grub,I even catch myself mumbling some words of approval repeatedly to myself that people would think I just came out of the cave and temporarily left my dinosaurs unattended.Its like an unself conciousness of someone who never worries about getting fat. I once had it infront of a friend who started giving me quizzical looks and right away contemplated calling a priest to get me exorcised- He got out of the store dripping with ketchup and fries shoved down his ears. And for an ineffable reason, He stays 10 meters away from me thereon.

2.I walk, and I cover miles! It gives me the sense of total abandon. When I walk, the seamy side of my life folds away (Insert the name of your stressors and stresses here), I live for the moment, I live at the NOW. (Eakhart Tole, is that you?) Taking brisk observation about my surrounding. My senses are heightened, and please, I don't crawl up buildings and wear spandex (It will surely make me look like a weather-beaten flag). Of course, I dont tell the true reason to people when confronted. I just tell them I walk because I wanna pose for some steamy publications in the near future, They won't understand, so why bother?
There was one time that I told my housemate I was just going to buy newly baked, steamy hot pandesal in a nearby bakery, and after 3 hours "buying" pandesals in a 'nearby' bakery, I went home bringing rockhard pandesals that could alternately be used as pumice stones if you so desired." I thought you were going to buy FRESHLY BAKED pandesals?! Throw these to someone and they'll have multiple head concussions!" barked my housemte. "They were.. 3 hours ago." was all I could say.