The Curtain Call

Guys, Thank you for keeping up with this blogsite. Its time to hold my mouth shut and stop my ramblings. I'm glad that I will be leaving this site with a light heart knowing that I have been blessed with the love of my family, my baby and friends- people that matter. As I embark on a new chapter of my life, isn't it nice to have someone beside you holding your hand, and making beautiful plans together?
Thank you all! Its been a pleasure sharing some swaths of my life with you.


Between the world and me, I am the happy one.


Goodbye earthlings!

Para Sa Aking Minamahal.

Bago ako tuluyang umalis ng bansa, isinangtabi ko muna ang aking mabigat na mga bagahe at sumama sa aking baby sa kanilang malayong probinsya. Matagal na naming pinagpaplanuhan ito ngunit dahil sa kanyang trabahong nagdadala sa kanya sa ibat ibang bahagi ng mundo, madalas ay hindi ito natutuloy. Pero ngayong ako naman ang dadalin ng kapalaran sa ibang bahagi ng mundo, hindi na ako pumayag na ipagpaliban pa na mapuntahan ang lugar kung saan lumaki at nagkaisip ang taong mahal ko. Ilang beses na din naman syang napunta sa aking probinsya, at dito'y ipinakita ko sa kanya kung saan ako madalas maglagi noong kabataan ko pa, isang hindi malilimutang karanasan ang maglakad sa lupang kinalakihan mo kasama ang isang tao na mahal na mahal mo. Lalong pinaglalapit ang mga puso nyo ng ganitong karanasan.
Babalikan ko ang lugar na ito pag dating ko mula sa ibayong dagat, syempre, kasama ko pa din ang mahal ko.
salamat sa pagpapatuloy mo sa iyong lupang kinalakihan, at higit sa lahat, salamat sa pagpapatuloy mo sa akin sa iyong puso.
Maghihintay ako sa muli nating pagsasama.

On being happy

Have you ever felt so happy with someone that nothing else matters? Forgive me for being one slimy bundle of mush today, I'm in love. I'm incapable of finding the right words.

Im sorry,My heart renders me inarticulate.

Toy

This is a story of many of us who have gotten into a situation with no any other way out but to pass through it.Through the seemingly interminable series of denial and disbelief, and then acceptance, followed by the painful awakening, a very long process of self healing caused by our slip of judgment. Maybe we had seen it all coming, but we were too enamored to care, we'd thought we were in control, until one day, just like a junkie, we were all under the influence.Defenses collapsed.Interventions denied. Truth twisted. Logic defied.


You were the shiny toy everyone wanted to try but didn't want to keep. You were just a novelty item, no lasting value, a thing to satisfy a fleeting whim, and after being used up and outgrown, thrown into oblivion. Of course you didn't know that, your intentions were pure, divine even, and unlike any toy, you weren't battery operated that could perform only what was told. You were capable to care, to love. That they didn't know, to them you were just a thing.

While you were on a display, someone showed a sliver of interest, someone you had been seeing sauntering around, but never really bothered to stop and see your worth. And when he finally went your way, you gasped- Thats the effect he had on you -Your heart beats a god damn mile per second, butterflies everywhere.You were happy, alright? And while he was giving you a time of a day, you secretly wished he would see you as different, you silently prayed to be owned. You hoped.

He held you and you never felt more special. You could have sworn there was love but you never much cared. You were there, he was there,in a place where there's no sense of time and no concept of right and wrong- That all that mattered. It was magic.

And then he dropped you, he never even bothered putting you back onto your dusty shelf, just like that, he let go and went about his life. He left off when you thought the twinkle in his eyes were for you, he walked off just when you felt there was a passionate connection. And after being completely swept off your feet, he disengaged.

And now look at you,shoved into your new place, this time amongst other toys on a basement bargain price. Marked down. Used up. Abandoned. Damaged beyond repair.

You were just a toy to a person whose hands break.

The Penitential Walk

It was Friday afternoon and it was pissing down,half scaring the shit out of people due to the prevailing news that any rain that'd come from April 21 onwards would be acidic bringing forth skin diseases and even cancer. While half of the population was worrying over the atrocity of an acid rain, I was contemplating if I would come to the "Penitential Walk in honor of Our Lady of Peace and Good Voyage". I should awfully feel ashamed of myself to admit that my idea of this incredible feat was just mainly for pure fun clearly sidestepping the true essence of the century-old tradition. The walk was due at 11pm and I started fidgeting like a horse in heat at 6pm. Should I still come?
A friend told me a story of a man he knew who promised to come to the walk but at the last minuted bailed out, the man's right foot swelled for days, giving a clear testament to the ineffable power of the Virgin.You see, I am not a highly religious person who dances to the beat of cymbals as if being eaten alive my hundreds of fire ants while holding out a replica of a saint, but I have my religious streak, albeit an inconspicuous one, and besides a swollen foot was enough for me to join even the 250-kilometer Death March. I got into my most comfortable get up,packed my bag and went off.

Okay, what will you do if you are in the company of people who know practically everything there is to know about saints? And who insistently talk about it, leaving you feeling like a complete moron slash pagan who worships trees and goes head hunting for food? Surely, My knowledge of saints is shamefully scarce it cant even fill a vial of a tubercular dwarf, and I was afraid I would just hassle them mercilessly with endless questions leaving them want to run away from me like headless chickens, so I just decided to shut it and observe.

Scores of people converged and their faith and their sentimental attachment to the saint was palpable it was almost too painful to watch, they walked barefooted, some even carrying poles half their own weight. The devoted ( and able bodied) ones were carrying heavily festooned 'carozas" onto which their beloved saints were rested. Being a hopelessly clumsy human that I am, A news headline that says "One Moron Ran over by a 50ton Caroza and Stepped on Beyond Recognition by 10 sweaty Men", would not have come as a big surprise.

The Penitential Walk doesnt only attract the faithful, the mere curious and the "what-have-I-gotten-myself-into", it also lures teenagers who wear sweaters in a 29degree celsius heat, and funky shades in 3 in the morning (maybe they found too much candle light blinding?) , and I am constantly amazed with the industrial amount of product they put on their hair! 4 hours into the walk and their hairs were still fighting the law of gravity!

The most challenging part of the walk was the uphill way to the city proper, I vividly remember because everytime my friend saw me nearing the collapsing point, all the colors drained out of my face, and toungue sticking out and wagging like a pendulum clock,he would tell me that we still yet to walk through the most difficult part (perfect timing! its as if telling someone who is suffering from a left leg tumor that another tumor had just sprouted somewhere in his right leg)I was huffing and puffing at this time so hard, it caused a series of tornadoes in East Africa.
I was tempted to tell one friend, "dude, If I just drop dead at any second, Can you drag me by the ear to the cathedral and have my knackered body blessed?"

When we reached the cathedral, people held out their white handkerchiefs and vigorously waved them at the oncoming Virgin. The guy in front of me was a bit too enthusiastic he was practically whipping my face with his towel that reeked of comedones, perspiration and sanctity. It would have solicited loads of eye rolling and snarling but even I was transfixed by the wondrous effect of the Virgin to the people, including, admittedly, myself.


to be continued.

Topple Over

Here is the story of someone who keeps deluding himself into believing he's a shining gift to all mankind. Let's call him "Topple Over". His name fits him like a glove- He has an unusually big head that seems to be in constant struggle in defying the law of gravity,and thus one should only expect to think that he'd just topple over,fall on his head and crack his skull open any second.
Topple Over only associates himself with people of certain repute, He doesnt coexist with the hoi polloi (ordinary people) for fear of infestation of some flesh eating bacteria and the corruption of his holier-than-thou morals. He has an inexhaustible resource of tall stories- people drop dead at his feet and lust after him like rabid mad dogs. He claws at your self image and tear it into pieces until you find yourself questioning your own self worth. "You are so fat! It doesnt suit you!". These pseudo-constructive comments corrode your self esteem like a rust to a metal until you see the very image in the mirror Topple Over wants you to see. An ugly, fat science experiment gone terribly wrong.Whatever happens to the man who used to laugh at himself? The man, who despite what nature did to him, still managed to pull a wide grin and say "At least Im not losing a limb". A man who used to spend little time looking after his looks and more on making others keel over laughing?

Beware of Topple Over, he lurks in the dark, cloaked in friendly concern but can kill nevertheless.

To Follow the Sun with a Whopping Hang over!

It was a lazy Saturday morning and despite all the pre-hangover precautions, I got out of bed with a pounding headache, Now before you go pegging me as somebody with a drinking problem. Let me tell you I dont usually hit bottles not unless it calls for a celebration, although admittedly, lately I have been too eager and enthusiastic in this department that even settling of Meralco's bills warrants drinking myself silly.
The binging happened in a friend's pad, as I was contemplating how to tame the monster atop my head (namely my hair) I got a call from her asking me if I would want to come over her pad because she had bought crates of keg beer and Absolut vodkas and she wanted a decrepit alcoholic like me to finish them off. Being a very gracious human of this green patch of Earth, I said yes.
I came to her pad which was reeking of smoke with an afternote of perspiration. I put the number of people in the room around 8, and like anyone addled by alcohol, everyone greeted me as if we were on a toothbrush sharing terms, Everyone had been posessed by the Divine that I nearly fell on my knees and chanted Hail Mary's.Is this Utopia?!
I knew that the reason why my friend wanted me there, aside from my unbridled appetite for booze was my ability to keep everyone in the loop. You see, I am no Shrinking Violet, and you won't find me nursing one beer all night long keeping to myself while embroidering my initials on a table cloth while the rest was being rowdy and obviously having fun. I just dont see any point in excluding yourself from the group you in the first place were invited to as if you had a severe case of halitosis.
She told me to do something about the guy opposite me who was evidently would rather be anywhere else but there, I struck a conversation and I gathered that that was all he needed because he didn't stop talking for the next three days, He mentioned about being straight more than 10 times even without being asked (with some affectations like flexing his biceps) and I thought "Straight? one more pluck of your eyebrow and you'd be Nicole Kidman", the only way to survive him without going stark raving mad was to be under the influence of alcohol.
It was nearly 4am and I was starting to have trouble sticking to my train of thoughts when I decided to slink off.
My milk of human kindness was going stale. I need to go back to my coffin.